Patience
by angelofplottwists
Summary: The overused plotline of firsts and lasts...but I wrote it this time. So yes, I was doing something these last few weeks...oneshot. slash, remussirius...


_Um...all I can say to placate you is...I did update TOTK, right? Right?_

_okay, I'm sorry I've paid more attention to LJ than you. Happy?_

_Disclaimer: I disclaim._

_one of two for the last tellmeakiss prompt. Ah, so sad to see it go! Yes, I know this theme is overused. Do I care? No._

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The first time Sirius realized he felt something other than mere friendship for Remus was the night after The Incident With Snape, when confronted with the possibility of losing him.

Remus came to the same realization a few months later, when he finally forgave him. In the dark, listening to the sound of someone dreaming, he realized that the only way to change anything was to move on, that what was done was done, and Sirius had done all he could to apologize. And after all, what would life be like without him?

A summer later and they both were ready to begin anew.

That year was the first time Sirius learned patience. Waiting for Remus was one of the hardest things he'd ever done, and often he would wonder why he bothered. The answer was never long in arriving.

The first September in which the Marauders did not return to Hogwarts, Remus had his first experience about how life was like for other werewolves. He existed on minimum wage and tea until the others found out.

It was infuriating how Remus would turn down any attempts to help him, and Sirius' patience was running short. He had one plan left.

Their first kiss was completely on accident, and from then on they learned to compromise.

The first time they saw James and Lily as a couple, James was shocked but took it in stride as a best mate should, and Lily was overjoyed, to say the least.

The first time they made love was not the first for either of them, but together was something wild and exhilarating, something that even years later would leave a mark on both of them and hold them through the times alone…

Their first fight was a sobering experience, but the next day neither could remember just what was so important, and it passed with little disturbance.

The first time Remus walked out was a year after Lily and James' wedding; he was afraid of hurting anyone. Sirius wondered, had wondered, if something was not quite right. Whatever had begun the argument, it had no matter. It was truly about the fear of loss. But that time Sirius went after Remus, and again they survived.

Then Lily and James were killed, and Voldemort fell, and Peter ran, and everything that might have been fell through as the wrong man was caught and the other never knew the truth.

And now it was Remus' turn to be patient. He waited in anguish for years, wondering, wondering, never quite sure of anything anymore. Desperately he tried to start anew as he did before, but for the first time he could not seem to forgive and forget, but instead stayed, waiting, not sure why but waiting all the same for a man he could not leave behind even in betrayal.

The first time Sirius had a glimpse of hope in twelve years was when he saw the photograph of Peter in the newspaper. If the traitor could escape, then he would too.

The first man ever to escape Azkaban a few weeks later, Sirius knew what he had to do.

Their first embrace in twelve years was purely platonic, but neither was prepared quite yet to admit to lingering emotions. But they had learned patience, and patience would serve them well.

Their second first kiss, a year later, was less a passionate gesture and more a quenching of the thirst that had been unanswered and denied for twelve years.

But for a beginning there is a subsequent end, and thus it was with Remus and Sirius.

The last time they ran free under the full moon was a week before they were due to return to the Black abode. It was not the same as it once had been – lacking in two of the pack, but it was all clear and crisp and everything was easier to see with canine vision and canine understanding. Everything was more simple to a dog's mind; one could simply by led by instinct and not think.

The last time Sirius stepped out of Remus' house ( a lucky rental from an elderly couple) he didn't know how long it would be before he would see it again, but he refused to become sentimental over any place, let alone this one which he hardly knew.

The last time Sirius spoke with his godson, he and Remus had been talking, trying to fight off the despair of a second losing battle. Harry's question had been a welcome reminder of times past, though Harry knew it not…such reminders were all too often laced with regret, but even regret was better than losing the memories…

The last time they made love was desperate and prolonged, and when they finished Remus found tears on his face. He did not say anything until he felt them on his shoulder, too, and then Sirius cried with him, although neither knew truly why this felt like an end.

Their last kiss was hurried, as they left the Black family house (never a home) to save Harry.

The last time Remus saw Sirius was in that terribly slow fall through torn gauze.

And for the first time in his life, Remus did not give up and move on, but waited, waited, patiently he waited, knowing that this time he would wait forever.


End file.
